Since leaving the commune I have done my learning, my opening if you like, by living my life. My own ‘deeper heart’ as you call it is just that – deeper and deeper. The darling faces of my grandchildren, conversations with my children, friends and loved ones, the sun on my windows in the morning, the sound of the wind and the sea – and most of all – the joy I feel at being alive, are more than enough. I am blessed to do work that is very meaningful, and my writing – when it happens – comes from a heart full with an overflow of words, memories and gratitude for all that I have experienced.

So, thanks for your first sentence – it made me think, as you can see! Hopefully it might make others think also.

Persephone

I met her quite accidentally when a friend of mine, with whom I was staying in the Santa Cruz area, decided he wanted to go up to see her and we both flew in his little plane. Got there late but just in time and there was one seat with a back so although they were telling me to go there, he had back trouble so I sent him to that more supported seat. Then out of nowhere they found me a place on the floor right up front and in fact when Gangaji entered she walked right past me and her dress brushed my face.

I just love her! She is so true and so present and beautiful and no big song and dance. She just says it as it is. I remember with a shock when I opened up my eyes after her dress brush me, to see that she is a white woman and a Yank. I had no idea!!! Was expecting an Indian. And I thought, my God, she looks like me!!!

I have not had an awakening in the way your writing describes. However, I have stopped looking and searching, and, as a result my life feels mostly very peaceful and fulfilling. I am grateful for that. For an over-active, high energy Aries person like me – it is a gift.

One of the most frustrating conversations I ever had, was with one of my dearest and oldest friends, Tony Parsons. You probably know him, or of him (and remember this was pre Osho). One did not become enlightened then! One simply GOT IT! My next question was, “what is IT? and how do I get IT?” Every time I asked the same question, I recieved the same answer. ” You will know IT! when you get IT!” Many years later, when I stopped asking, what it was that I was looking for and did I find it; I found that the question to be not how it is. Finding IT! implies IT was lost. IT….. is that moment of coming home. I remember the begining of an article about Rebirthing ” We never cease our journeying, and in our journeying we return to the place from where we first started but recognize it for the first time ” . . . It is said so perfectly.