Munich is a beautiful city, wide streets, many trees and green spaces and elegant buildings. And, the talk went very well indeed – it was fun! My kind and energetic hostess who invited me, and in whose flat I stayed, emailed me afterwards writing:

“I spoke to 2 of my friends, both were very impressed and inspired by you: What an alive woman !!!!!!!!!!!! One climbed up a mountain in the alps the next day, something she thought she would never do again – but this time she followed the invitation. She has muscle pain all over but feels very good.”

That felt like a huge affirmation, and encapsulated for me what can happen when we understand fully about taking responsibility (as far as possible) for our own aliveness. And, it doesn’t matter too much which country and conditioning you come from. Our feelings, and responses are very similar. Any response can be as simple as following, rather than refusing an invitation! Or remaining open, rather than closed to a fresh suggestion.

Of course this made me very happy, as did the smiling faces that grew in number as the talk progressed. The story about meeting my partner even brought a round of applause! I knew in that moment that my visit to Munich had been worth the gamble – even ‘though the two other events booked, had not filled.

The next day I was whisked down here into, and enveloped by, such beauty. Magnificent scenery outside and the loveliest country apartment that you could wish to see. A gentle, stately boat ride round a lake, delicious food and best of all – the company of my much loved friend and his wife, are making this a brief but so welcome break in my, sometimes, too busy life – pause for thought!

Last night I was woken by the wail of a warning siren, a sound I had not heard for about forty-seven years. My immediate reaction was fear. After all these years, it still had the power to alert the eleven year old child, still inside this seventy-eight year old woman! It only lasted for a few seconds, but was definitely there. Of course, in this very efficient country, all small communities have such a warning system as a very necessary part of living away from the large towns, and particularly in a mountainous area. Within five minutes there was a fire engine, police vehicle and sundry cars all on their way to what must have been a quite serious road accident. And, the heart of this ‘eleven year old girl’ had stopped racing!

Now I am back in Munich, and will fly home tomorrow – a very happy and contented woman. Of course it would be nice to be invited back again – but that is almost irrelevant in the discovery that whether in my own country or not . . .I do have something to say and represent, that many older people are now ready to acknowledge. The unexpectedly high number of people who turned up – proved that. Life can be fulfilling, interesting and alive – yes alive, after the age of 60 – and onwards.

First, let me quote from David’s article:
“. . . . the deep struggle of our time is for healing. It’s a struggle for the capacity to form relationships that heal, relationships that create wholeness, relationships that connect in spite of all the barriers that hatred, greed and fear may erect. And not just with our fellow human beings but with all life upon this earth. Healing, not just fixing is what our world needs. Our ability to forge the relationships that heal may well be the key to creating a future we would want to live in.” David’s words, “Healing, not just fixing is what our world needs.” still stay with me as I write today.

On reading the comments, I had an instant and rather predictable reaction: You cannot begin to think about healing relationships with any ‘other’ – be it human, animal, vegetable or mineral – until you have healed your relationship with yourself. To me this is so obvious it is almost boring. Most of you who read this newsletter know this already. For many of you a statement like mine could seem ‘old hat’ . . . and, of course, it is! I’m an old woman now, content with my life, myself – and my relationships. In fact, I’m not sure that I’m the right person to even try and answer these questions! However, part of my contentment is that I see things as they are – whether judged as bad or good, makes no difference.

Whether it is ‘unfinished business’ with one or both of your parents, old or new friends, the environment, your pets, lover or politics . . . sorry! – it all comes back to you. If you can stand back and look truthfully at a person or a situation, and at the same time let go of what you think should be happening in any given circumstance – then there is space for compassion to grow and the possibility of making a conscious decision to get involved – or not.

Now, having got that off my chest let’s examine what these questioners’ honest and sincere requests are. Jan writes, “I’m interested in what you may have to say about how we can all improve, hold and treasure our focus on healing relationships.” And Jackie, “I agree that the ability to forge new healing relationships is vital to survival but maybe maintaining them is the key to a happy, healthy life. What are your thoughts? “

I have to admit I smiled when seeing them written as above. It seems to me that one answers the other – at a certain level. There is talk of ‘holding, improving and treasuring’ – then comes the word ‘maintaining’. These are fine, intelligent and sincere words. However, they all require you to do something. They require action. I am not sure that any specific action is required at all. Clear awareness and understanding is.

In my own life-story, letting go of attempting to ‘heal’ one particular relationship has been the most healing experience of all – for me. Selfish this may sound to some, but through that care of self I have learned hugely about not taking on the responsibility for someone else’s attitudes and actions. This one experience has enabled me to see situations and other people as they are. Each of us can feel what only we can feel. Allowing others to feel what only they can feel, takes away the pressure of expectation, and leaves space for genuine closeness to happen – or not.

There are no ‘how tos’ or formulae in this world of relating, despite the hundreds of books written on the subject. However, each of us possess eyes to see, ears to hear and hearts to feel. Using our eyes, ears and hearts in a genuine attempt to step into someone else’s shoes, just for a moment, is not a bad way to start the healing process.

My whole life has been one of constant change and movement. In the very early days it was held in the arms of loving parents but soon tumbled into WW2, separation and moving from house to house. Boarding school, musical career, marriage, children and divorce followed. Then, in my forties I discovered the (then new) personal and spiritual development movement. This eventually led to eleven years of committed and active discipleship with Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh – now known as Osho. Those were powerful, meaningful and wonderful years. They caused both chaos and peace within and around me. Towards the end of our time in the large Oregon commune, Bhagwan told us to go back into the world, earn a living and live what we had learned with him. At least, that was the gist of it, remembered with my now very unreliable memory!

Living the life of a disciple had been, for me, a simple and totally nourishing experience. It had involved letting go of all preconceived notions of what was ‘necessary’ in a life. There was also a willingness on my part to take a huge jump into a lot of very hard work, on a practical, physical level as well as a spiritual, internal one. There was no separation between the two.

Arriving back ‘in the world’ was also simple and nourishing – but for different reasons that I cannot fully explain. Looking back, it appears that this new life lived itself . . .opening up and flowing all on its own. It flowed through the kindness and generosity of dear friends and family. It also flowed through unexpected, sometimes daunting, invitations – to which I said “yes”. One of these involved going to Australia to be with a man I hardly knew. I did not come back to the UK for over fourteen years!

I have been living here for the last ten, and can see that “extending one’s self into the life of this world” is unwittingly, what I have done. However I have also lived, until recently, the life of a part-time recluse. During these years, the quiet and peace of my small cottage in a small village by the sea, has provided the comfort and seclusion that my whole being longed for. My work has taken me out into the world, and my home has given me the escape and quiet I craved. I have come to understand the reason for these past ten years of reclusiveness. They have helped me to relax into myself, to stop looking outside for fulfillment.

Now, another invitation has come my way, in the form of a large, loving and ebullient scientist! This has opened further doors for me. As with all the jumps I have taken, there is an element of fear/excitement here also. However, the commitment we have made to each other is stronger than the fear. Through him I am opening more and more, not just to my immediate and now familiar life – but to new worlds of academia, science fiction, the Jewish community and many many new friends. I am also opening up to opinions and attitudes that are new to me, whilst my love gently and patiently holds my hand.

I also understand that my life has appropriately brought me here. Brought me to this place of acceptance of things as they are. No more separation, judging the spiritual life as more desirable than the temporal. Neither this nor that, as Bhagwan often said. The years spent as a disciple, and the leaps already taken have prepared me very well. My current life is not always comfortable, not always peaceful, but it feels ‘right’. Though sometimes a touch painful, it is just another period of change.

A few minutes ago, whilst writing, my email ‘ping’ sounded and there was a poem . . . it was written by Jane Hirshfield and called ‘To Hear the Falling World’. Here are the last three lines – which feel perfect for me to quote right now:

But they guard me, these small pains,
from growing sure
of myself and perhaps forgetting.

I do not want to forget.

I totally appreciate that quote, and on many levels it is true, unarguably so. However, as someone who has drifted through a long life, weaving my way through differing spiritual belief systems – I want to find out what I truly believe. If there is anything at all to believe in!

That, of course is a facetious remark . . .I believe (writing this on a Tuesday) that tomorrow will be Wednesday, and that in just over a week’s time, I shall become 78 years old. I believe that I shouldn’t kill any one, and should treat my fellows as my self. I believe that it is good to be kind, and to listen to others’ points of view. There are many such beliefs that could take up many paragraphs. Right now I want to write about spiritual belief – or not.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine this morning, and left the call feeling sad. This was because my hard-to-find spiritual belief system these days couldn’t be further away from hers if I tried! I stopped trying and just listened instead. This felt more true than argument. I could hear how deeply her beliefs were affecting her life, and helping her beautifully through a traumatic happening in that life – making sense of it in fact. Who am I to try and alter that, because I believe differently? However, our conversation was very helpful, making me think – and giving me a reason for writing this article.

I have been pretty clear for many years that I do NOT believe in an anthropomorphic god. But is it that simple? I guess being born to a Christian mother and an agnostic father was brilliant. They opened an inner argument within me many moons ago.

I was dutifully christened as a baby, obviously not able to disagree or agree at the time. At my Anglican boarding school my deepest longing was to ‘fit in’, so I went full tilt into the act of taking Confirmation, very proud of the small gold cross around my neck. Some hymns remembered from that time can still move me to tears, especially if come upon unexpectedly being sung at a choir practise in some cathedral or other. What are those tears about, if not the hidden longing for something beyond my very full mind’s boundaries?

Much later, that longing led me to a guru, Osho – much loved and faithfully followed. Those eleven years of discipleship were years that I am profoundly grateful for and will never forget. Not only did other potential spiritual doors open because of them, I learned that living a life could be quite wondrous, and conversely, very simple. We were not taught any particular ‘isms’ . . .but exposed to many teachings from differing ancient sages and religions. These were all in the context of relating to each other through our often very long, hard and ordinary work-day!

I wrote last month about what I see as the cult of speculation on catastrophe, a belief system to which I don’t care to subscribe. It appears to contain those who will be saved, and those who won’t, and seems to encourage believers to see them selves in some way as special or chosen – as do many other belief systems.

So, I ask myself, what DO I believe? And always the answer comes: “I don’t know anymore” . . .
What I do know is that I don’t know. However, there is a sense of mystery around what I don’t know. It does not appear to be finite. I have had brief and unexpected glimpses of something much larger than me that I appear to be servant to. There is no system, no god, no particular belief. Rather, more and more questions. I also recognise these glimpses when I see them in others.

About thirteen years ago, when still living in Australia, I was in one of those plunges into the deep that can be experienced from time to time. I went to see my counsellor/mentor/friend, a wonderful woman. I had collapsed in tears in the drama of not knowing what the hell I needed! She lent forward towards me with her arms held out and said these exact words: “Persephone, can you allow yourself to be held in the sacredness of not knowing?” Writing this article has brought them back to me – and today, the answer is a simple ‘yes’.

These days the emptiness of ‘not knowing’ is constant. I appear to have totally lost the desire to know – at least the desire to know what I believe in spiritually! I am still excitedly curious to know more about this world and this life. This is probably a safe place for me. I feel at peace here, and life keeps opening and offering anyway.

I could speculate that the scientific defence mentioned in the quote above does not apply to this ‘not knowing’. However, maybe it does. And, if so I shall eventually find out. I used to see science as a rather dull, formulated, difficult, but absolutely necessary occupation that I had no interest in whatsoever. I am discovering, almost each day, how smug and mistaken I was. In fact, it seems to me to be an art, an art that demands the courage for great discovery – delving deeply into what isn’t known, the unending and unequivocal mystery.

For those of you hungry for more facts, figures and predictions stop reading now. For those of you who dismiss all such information completely – you might as well stop reading as well! However, maybe some of you are like me, willing to suspend belief and disbelief for a while – to check out within yourselves what these predictions, and the belief systems surrounding them, mean for you. So, if you can handle yet another person’s perspective on all this – read on.

It seems to me that I have some choices here:
a) I can believe totally, take all possible precautions and live the rest of my life in fear and tension – waiting for ‘the big one’.
b) I can take no notice at all, live for the moment, go to sleep and hope everything will turn out OK.
c) Or, I can refuse to accept or deny – blindly.

It’s pretty obvious that if you have a choice, and you nearly always do, it would probably be unwise to live on the San Andreas fault, or at the foot of an active volcano or in areas subject to severe flooding – this is just common sense. Given the growing state of pollution, the country air is preferable to the city – it is also easier to be reasonably self sufficient there.

To me, all the above are speculative, what am I sure of? What do I know? My own inner voice is the only one that is constant and I have to trust that. I know that the quality of my life is more important to me than the length. I do not wish to live in fear or great inconvenience. I do not want to barricade myself in some remote place on this planet, waiting for catastrophes to happen. So far my life has been a wondrous dance of movement, stillness and a combination of both. Following a thread if you like and that thread has never led me into disaster – only into growth and more contentment.

At my age (77), I don’t have the energy any more for great causes or drastic action. Sort of been there, done that. However, I do have a compassionate heart and strongly feel the tsunamis of tragedy that appear to engulf other human beings around the world. I can find no rhyme nor reason for them happening, but I can write. So, that is what I do.

Predictions and premonitions are often disaster based – the scenarios painted can only come from the perspective of the past transferred into the future. How can ANYONE predict a future as yet not experienced by the human race. Almost any message, any prediction has to come through a human form, inevitably coloured by the history and memory of that particular human form.

There is also a danger, particularly now, of riding on the disaster bandwagon, of feeding on the excitement of danger, the drama of catastrophe. We are fed this as a daily diet through the media anyway; we are programmed to accept this as ‘normal’. One of the idiosyncrasies of the human race is its preference for drama and dire consequences.

I too feed, to a certain extent, on the news bulletins, with their stories of impossible situations, venal and mad dictators, tragedies caused not only by humans, but by Nature as well (although of course that is a moot point – which comes first, the chicken or the egg?) Of course I could turn off the radio or the TV, refuse to read any newspapers or even discuss these things with my friends.

I prefer to see the disastrous predictions as a wake up call. A call for all of us to start seeing each other – whatever our colour, race or gender – simply as human beings. If you allow yourself to look deeply into another’s eyes – to see the sameness that is there rather than the difference, how can there be hate?

It appears to me that, as a species, we are being pushed to the end of our endurance and tolerance of the status quo, of war, greed and corruption. In the past, and currently, these negative qualities have often been met by more of the same.

That obviously has not worked. It seems to me that something new is being called for, an opportunity to change ourselves, and the way we view ourselves and others with whom we share this planet. The problem is that it has never been done before – ever. There are no guidelines, no rule books, no ‘how to’ plans. Various religions have tried, but often succeeded only in creating more mayhem.

Systems are changing, if they don’t they will collapse, change is ruthless and will happen without us or, with enough global awareness, with us. Science is moving at a breathtaking pace, always willing to move into what isn’t known yet.

Will politics, economics, education and the war machines do the same? These systems are made up of individuals like you or me. You would not be reading this letter if your awareness was not already on reasonably high alert!

Instead of dwelling on all the earth shattering things that might happen – how about an inventory of the hopeful things that already have happened; such as the falling of the Berlin wall, patient efforts in the Middle east, voices from controlled countries like China finding a way to be heard, the growing protection of wildlife and efforts to repair ecological damage around the world. All these have been started and carried out by individuals like you and me.

It seems to me that new movements of global awareness are also building a groundswell that will eventually find its way – is already finding its way – to the politicians, the business men and the power brokers.

The plethora of quality movies with messages all can understand, the growing popularity of opera and interest in all the arts, is a sign that our souls are aching for quality of life, for sensitivity and understanding. There is a recognition that it is time to stand up and be counted – truthfully – whatever the consequences.

This has to start on a day to day level with each of us, with me. My new love has this quote at the end of all his emails, by Anais Nin: “We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.” If we really took that on board, if we understood the basic principles of mirroring (ie that whatever we see in another has, at the very least, a reference point within us.) – then real change could happen. While we only look out from our own self-absorbed myopia, we are only going to see what we expect to see – that with which we are familiar.

I do not know if the disastrous prophecies will come true. I do know that I don’t intend to live my life as though they will. I will live the rest of my life as fully as I have lived it up ‘till today. I trust that if I am meant to stay here for a while I will be given choices. I have always been given choices. I cannot choose wisely if my mind is full of what might happen, I can only choose wisely, if I am awake enough to be in what is happening, staying as present as possible to the signals that are there all the time.

Should I be swallowed by an earthquake, there is not much I can do about it. However, my awareness is something I can attend to every day, just as I eat, work, play or sleep. That is the game I like. I would rather play that game than one of physical disaster – it would be pretty silly not to wouldn’t it?

My mind wanders to my three grandsons, what sort of world will they inherit? My certain hope is that they will make a better job of it than we have. I hope they will have the intelligence and energy to see the futility of war and become kinder and more tolerant adults. This is not an impossible dream, given the increasing inter-racial nature of education these days.

When I started this article I had no idea what I would write – I just waited and wrote down what was there. My initial feeling was genuinely “so what?” – so what if the predictions have been coming down to us for centuries, so what if I am in imminent danger of being overwhelmed by a tidal wave (the most likely catastrophe to affect me given where I live, ten minutes walk from the sea!).

If I die, I die and if I live I live. I don’t know much, if anything, about dying, I don’t remember dying before – I do know about living. If my writing can catch someone’s attention, suggest to them that they look at the quality of their life and that of those around them – so be it. I can only do what I can do. After a life time of ‘doing’ I don’t want or need to ‘do’ in the same way.

Each day for me is a wondrous thing – time to listen, to watch, to engage. If this were taken away from me by a tidal wave – so what? While I am alive on this planet, if I live as truly and as fully as possible, then I won’t have wasted my time.

This is quite a responsibility. It is also the merest flicker of time in the infinity in which I exist, and I, according to the latest scientific discoveries – am only space – so what?

Arriving in my somewhat bemused 70s, although gently hopeful, I never imagined that there would be a man with whom I would fall in love with the same fervour as at seventeen. Well, recently it happened, I met a man and fell in love.

Some of you already know that I have been through a rough patch recently, and decided to be pro-active, rather than sitting at home in the slough of despond. This took the form of joining an on-line dating site called Saga Connections, (This is part of Saga magazine). I thought – well nobody I know will know this, except one dear friend to whom I tell everything. So, with some embarrassment I signed up, answered all their questions – and waited. What had I got to lose? Absolutely nothing except, maybe, my pride!

In fact, the whole system was surprisingly intelligent, well constructed and with privacy at the top of the agenda. I met one man, with whom I had a fun day – but he was not who I thought I was looking for. I got a bit dispirited, looking at photo after photo, and reading profile after profile. All my doubts about going down this particular path came up strongly. I was just about to cancel my subscription when a new set of ‘matches’ came in. These appear regularly, and attempt to suggest possible people with whom you might have something in common.

There were photographs – and one in particular caught my eye. My thinking was – oh well, I might as well try this one – he looks interesting. I wrote the required introductory letter, with no private personal details allowed – and lo and behold got a reply! We then perused one another’s websites – more surprises and glimmers of hope – then Skype. Well, that’s what did it. We both agree that was where we found each other, in an amazingly, honest and profound way.

I am writing this short article in order to reassure, and encourage any of you who are contemplating doing something similar. It is possible, even at the age of 77 (we are both the same age) to allow yourself to open up to another person, with love, honesty and respect. There is a difference, of course, between the girl of 17 and the woman of 77. That difference is mainly to do with shedding any ideas of how things ‘should’ be. It is also having enough wisdom to honour the commitment of the heart, and put aside any fears of rejection.

As Scott-Peck says in his inimitable book The Road Less Travelled, “Love is as love does. Love is an act of will – namely, both an intention and an action. Will also implies choice. We do not have to love. We choose to love”.

I am finding truth in that statement.

I have woken up to find that ‘not fitting’ – is in itself a blessing. The fact that I became an inventive and somewhat devious child, and lived in a fantasy life of my own making as a student and young woman, was a gift. Everything has contributed to this point. Here I am, editing this article . . . peacefully sitting in my study, letting the words flow.

If I had ‘fitted’ in the way I thought I should, my life would not have been filled with the joys and discoveries I have made over the last seventy-seven years. If I had fitted at boarding school I would not have learned to be independent. If I had fitted as a music student, I would never have been able to enjoy most genres of my art. Students can be real intellectual snobs – music students in particular!

If I had fitted as a wife, mother and housekeeper, I would never have found the courage to chase new horizons. If I had fitted as a disciple, I would never have made the decision to risk finding my own freedom of thought and enquiry.

And, I have also felt the pain of hurting other people, the fear of the unknown, the loss of loved ones, the insecurity of having little money and, from time to time, some deep sorrow, regret and loneliness. All of those things are added to my package – and I am grateful for the whole deal. All these experiences, feelings and discoveries were the same. No one better than the other, no one more fruitful than the other . . . all were as they were – perfect!

Once, about sixteen years ago, I had just come out of an Australian hospital after having a lumpectomy for breast cancer and was pretty wobbly and frightened at the time. A teacher of mine, Paul Lowe was visiting and I asked him if we might go for a walk together. I didn’t know what I wanted from him. However, I did know I wanted that walk.

We strolled by the river for a while in silence, and then very quietly he said, “Persephone, I can only find one thing to say to you – nothing matters.” And, we continued to walk in silence, but there was a difference within me. I really got that, in the grand scheme of things — ‘no thing matters’. All is as it is, neither this nor that.

And yes, I do forget from time to time and get caught in the drama – but when push comes to shove, I remember, and am grateful.

Dramas of grief, loss, fear, worry, physical and emotional pain, shame and pride have all occupied my mind in the last month. Remembering Gangagi’s words, “Welcome them all” – I did just that. The grief and loss were honoured for a while, then joined the others in the truth: that in fact, they were only dramas. I understood, helped by the gentle Buddhist monk, that I actually had a choice. I could choose to hold on to drama, or in an instant, take charge and banish it. Actually that’s not true – there’s nothing to banish, it’s just letting go of another pattern of thinking.

I know, I know, it’s easy to say not so easy to do. Maybe that’s because it’s always easier to stay with the familiar than jump into the new. However, one simple insight from a peaceful and joyous monk catapulted me into taking action. There was a key to open the doors that I walked through. The key was to honour my shame. I discovered intelligent support and advice, loving friends who offered open ears for listening and, somewhere deep within, a new attitude towards money that was struggling to appear. This change in attitude is new, very new and welcome.

Some of you will have read my story about Money and Trust. If you read it again you will see now that it was just another drama from which I really did learn. However, obviously not enough, even ‘though at the time I called it a miracle! Today is different. There are no bells and whistles with my current money story. This time I have had to look deeper, much deeper and not get carried away by other stories in order to solve this one. I realise that way back in 1993 it was more about my belief systems of the time. Now it is more practical and responsible. However, Trust is still there – waiting patiently for me to, yet again, do what needs to be done. I have finally become honest with myself, no-one else, and created no more stories to distract my attention. This is painful at times. However, with patience, my own and others – I’m getting there. It’s heartwarming when some communication, a letter or a poem drops unexpectedly into my mailbox seemingly out of the blue and oh so apt and welcome. Yesterday came a long and full letter from a dear friend reminding me gently that actually, ‘I’ am not in charge! Then this morning, browsing amongst saved material – came this:

Correction

The burdens of the world
on my back
lighten the world
not a whit while
removing them greatly
decreases my specific
gravity

~ A. R. Ammons ~
(Web archive of Panhala postings: www.panhala.net/Archive/Index.html)

All in all, I feel held, and in that holding is some peace. So, my humble thanks go to Mattieu Ricard (the monk) and his father whose enlightening conversations woke me up. And to the other dear ones, sitting quietly supporting me, who already know who they are, I send my love.

One: Last week, sitting at my desk, in physical and mental turmoil about all this ‘too much’ – ‘ping’ went my email. It was a message from a friend, mentioning a friend of hers called Wanda Whiteley, who was starting up a new website. This is a site for authors trying to get their book together! Wanda has worked for the last twelve years as a non-fiction Publishing Director with Harper Collins, and has just become freelance.

Two: That is a high recommendation, so I immediately contacted her and we ‘clicked’. I am now doing what she suggested as my first step. Yes, my first step – I am starting all over again from the beginning totally changing my idea of ‘how it should be’.

Three: However, this story is about Serendipity – you will have understood the first bit, but now comes the next. My first teacher, Michael Barnett and I have been in touch recently. Click Video: Michael Barnett – The Truth Comes Sideways Yesterday, I started reading his book mentioned on said video (now out of print unfortunately), and discovered that it is written in exactly the style suggested to me by Wanda! Not so much a typical autobiography, more a collection of stories.

Four: A SINGLE STEP
Today, by email arrives my daily quote from Osho:

The phenomenon of witnessing has no ABC or XYZ. It is a simple phenomenon. It is a single step. It is one process. The journey of one thousand miles is done by the simple step, one step. You cannot take two steps at one time. Step after step, just a single step can be stretched to ten thousand miles or to infinity. Watchfulness is a simple step. There is no alphabet in it. There are no beginners in it, there are no amateurs in it and no experts in it. Everybody is in the middle, always in the middle. You are moving perfectly right. Just go on. Osho

I guess there’s no more comment needed . . . .?

It is interesting to see that the difference between a war inspired retreat and a religious, contemplative retreat is really only one word – enemy. And who is to say who or what the ‘enemy’ might be? From time immemorial kings, knights, soldiers, pilgrims and priests have taken time out to face the ‘enemy’ within. Time to rest, to retreat inwards, to quieten the mind and be refreshed.

Today Mohammedans still visit Mecca, Jews go to Israel, and Christians visit the monasteries, Lourdes and Rome. All looking for that safe place where there is assistance of some sort, to reconnect with the spiritual side of their beings. Increasingly, people of no particular religious belief or denomination also look for places that are quiet where, with support, they can drop into that tranquillity that leads to deep refreshment of the soul.

The main advantages of attending a retreat are obvious. The simplicity, the regular timetable, the simple, non-intrusive structures are all designed to slow the mind, steady and rest the body. Retreats can also gently guide the mind inward, observing the chaos that sometimes reigns. Then it is possible to delve deeper and find the peace that is always there, underneath, waiting to reappear.

This all happens in a gently disciplined way that is not dependent on one’s own mercurial moods or whims. The quiet regularity of the programme, and the willingness of the visitor to suspend their normal modes of unconscious behaviour, opens up fresh interaction with the present moment, and whatever may appear in that present moment.

At times this can be disconcerting, even disturbing as old ghosts emerge to dance in front of our mental eyes. However, in the care of experienced facilitators, those ghosts can usually be aired and honoured and are then free to fade, leaving more room for the clarity and knowing that is always there, covered up by layers of busy-ness, conditioning, out of date belief systems and old habits.

The need for this particular type of time out is becoming more apparent and urgent. Many people, instead of taking their ‘normal’ holidays, drinking and eating large quantities, or sightseeing, or lazing on the beach in the company of crowds and noise, prefer to visit a Buddhist centre, Christian religious order or Zen Buddhist monastery.

In addition, all over the world there are now non-denominational retreats that offer similar space and peace. If you are looking for something different, if your yearning for spiritual exploration and fulfilment is strong, if you don’t know quite what you want, but know you need the space to find out for yourself — it is encouraging to know that the places where this longing can be satisfied are increasing.

There are many books, magazines and websites describing group retreat centres of all types, as well as individually run retreats, both in the UK and internationally. You can find many described in The Good Retreat Guide – 6th edition, by Stafford Whitteaker.

It’s as if the collective consciousness has said “enough!” and places of beauty and peace are becoming available to suit any level of spiritual seeking and nourishment. All you have to do is inquire and you will be led to where you recognize you need to be.